The Opportunities in 'No'
When you hear ‘No,’ what comes to mind?
How does it make you feel?
‘No’ can be both an ending and an opportunity depending on how we view it. In our healing journey ‘No’ can conspire in our favor or it can continue to conclude in the favor of others depending on the amount of power we give it. It can also be of great assistance in helping us understand our trauma and its roots.
For some of us ‘No’ is a word we fear because in its connections to our trauma it means ‘the end’. The more we hear it the more we feel downgraded and useless.
For some of us when we start practicing to say ‘No’ it’s an extremely hard word to swallow because we spent our whole life learning that our ‘Yes’ is the only way to receive a reciprocated ‘Yes’ from others.
What we have failed to realize until we start healing ourselves is that ‘No’ is a power word. A word that can also open doors for us. A guiding word that can help us set boundaries, figure out who we are, and stand up for ourselves.
When we hear ‘No’ it doesn’t have to mean that it’s ‘concluded’, ‘the end,’ or ‘this is it’.’ It can simply mean not this way, not this opportunity, or not this person.
When we hear ‘No’ we don’t have to allow it to shut us down. No doesn’t always mean sit tight and be quiet. It provides an opportunity for creativity, a chance to explore.
When we say ‘No’ to the people abusing us, we are not only standing up for ourselves but we are letting others know that abuse is NOT okay.
When we say ‘No’ to the people trying to manipulate and use us, we are not only reminding ourselves that our individuality alone holds value but we are also reminding others that narcissistic traits, manipulative traits and the practice of using people for personal gain is NOT okay.
When we say ‘No’ to the things that are not right for us, we are not only reminding ourselves that we deserve better but we are reminding others of the simple things that matter.
When we say ‘No’ to situations that are not right for us, we are not only reminding ourselves of our own capabilities and the wisdom that comes with choosing our battle wisely but we are showing others that there are more than one ways to deal with circumstances besides chaos.
The opportunities hidden behind ‘No’ are endless. When one door closes because of a ‘No’ this isn’t the end because then the door of ‘Yes’ that conspires in our favor opens. The door to betterness opens. Here, is where we hold the power to choose where to invest our time and energy based on how we view our own worth and where we want to go.
Accepting ‘No’ as a response doesn’t have to make your life difficult. It doesn’t downgrade our worth in any way. It simply is a representation of another closed door.
Saying ‘No’ doesn’t have to be difficult. It can start simply. It can start today with where we are.
Saying ‘No’ doesn’t mean we have to have our entire life or our next step figured out, and it also doesn’t mean we have to be freed from our past. It simply means we are willing to go where we feel guided from here on out. It means we are ready to take risks where it feels right for us because we love and trust ourselves enough to give ourselves a try.
In your book of life today, how are you allowing the ‘No’ in your life to guide you today? Where are you headed?
