Divine Timing

"...trust your divine timing..."

— Remember, MK Spiritual Team

2.12 marks my one year anniversary as an official shaman.

Some healers were always told they were gifted. Some only learned about it as they grew older or sicker. Some lived with it not knowing what it was. Some waited for years knowing of their gift before they rose.

I was a very sickly child when I was little. As I grew older I was less sick but was extremely unlucky and went through mental health issues.

I found out that I was gifted 6 months before I got officially initiated to be a healer.

Thinking back, my guides tried communicating with me multiple times but I either blocked them out or ignored them.

Every healer that healed me while I was sick couldn't see my guides because either their gift didn't align with mine or my team hid themselves very well.

Because I blocked my guides out I had to be the one to seek them.

In the summer of 2021 when I found out I was gifted I was given two choices: to start my journey within 3 months or to start during the new year, 2022. Either way my teams were coming down at the beginning of 2022.

When I accepted my fate as a healer I knew I was ready even though I couldn't fully grasp what it means to be a healer or what the journey was going to be like. I just knew I was ready for whatever was coming my way. I started my spiritual training the moment my gift was confirmed.

I question my team and myself a lot. I wonder why no one ever confirmed with me that I was gifted when I was sick. As I learned more about myself I realized my team was protecting me. They were waiting for me to be ready, to be able to stand up for myself and for them. They needed me to be able to lead and be the leader I was meant to be.

I needed all the protection I could get. We needed to prevent another incident from happening.

I've never told anyone this until October of last year. My parents don't know it either. But, my past life self was awake during the early stages of my childhood. I remembered at one point very early on in my childhood, before the age of 6, I thought to myself,

"My back hurts."

"I'm uncomfortable."

"This is such a tight place."

"Why am I stuck in such a small body?"

"Did my parents do this to me?"

"Did they zip me up into this small body like it was a costume?"

"I need to stretch. I can't stretch fully here."

For this period of my childhood I was confused and on the inside somewhat mad at my parents because I had considered this to be true.

My childhood before the age of 6 was a blur and still is. Every time I think back on it it feels like my memories are blocked. Like a door that can't be open. I barely remembered anything, if I do, it's disorganized. When someone mentioned my childhood memories to me if they mentioned anything before age 6 I don't remember it. I've asked my spiritual team about this before and they told me to not worry about it. There may have been multiple reasons why but personally and strongly, this may be because my 'past life self' was awake in my new body and my soul was still adjusting to it. Once the 'me' in this lifetime woke up the file cabinet to those memories got locked up because that past life version isn't supposed to be alive in this lifetime.

Every lifetime is a new beginning. Every chance we receive is an opportunity for growth. We may not understand things as they are right now but we must trust our divine timing. When the time is right things will unfold. What's meant to be will be.