Be Reasonable

09.26.2023

Messages from Spirit.

“Before blaming someone else for your problem or using them as an excuse for the cause of your issue, ask yourself, “If things went my way would it benefit me or them?”

Don’t drag others into your issues just because you don’t want to face your own wounds and reality. By doing so, you’re only creating more bad karma for yourself, doing more harm towards the innocent, and adding on more problems to what they’re currently dealing with - that you know nothing about.

In a marriage before saying to your kids, “We’re only together for you,” Or, “We’re fighting because of you.”

Stop and think.

“Are we really fighting because of our children or is it because of our own issues?

“Is our children really benefiting from us, as parents, being together and always fighting?

Or, “Are we together because we’re afraid of how others would perceive us if we’re divorce?”

“If we stay together, are we able to set great examples and be the role models we want for our children?”

If you’re in a relationship that involves constant arguments, disagreement and fighting and you think that even if you’re unhappy and no longer in love, staying with your partner would benefit your children. Think again. While you’re at war with each other constantly you’re showing your kids that toxicity is normal and ok in a relationship. While you’re no longer in love and unhappy in your relationship you’re teaching your kids that their peace, values and desire are not important in a relationship. But the reality is you’re only bleeding your trauma onto your children and adding on a new layer of unresolved issues to them.

If you love, respect and care for your partner and children, communicate with them. Seek to understand each other amid the chaos as a group.

Before you cheat on your partner and blame it on your partner, your children, or problems at home.

Reflect.

“Why am I cheating?”

“Is there another solution besides cheating?”

“If I truly love and care for my partner, how would they feel if I cheated?”

“If I truly love my children, wouldn’t cheating hurt their feelings and the feelings of the person who gave life to them?”

“By cheating, what am I teaching my children about relationships and commitment?”

When you cheat, have you considered the feelings of your loved ones? Or, did you only consider your feelings and burning desire at the moment?

In a relationship if you’re no longer in love it’s ok to accept such truth. Be brave enough to respect each other enough to let go of one another so you both can open up space to receive the love that’s meant for you. There’s no need to hurt one another while you’re at it. Ending a relationship isn’t a sin. It isn’t illegal. Respecting boundaries doesn't have to hurt. It can be mutual and friendly.

If you truly love someone you’ll respect their wish enough to let go knowing you’re unable to give them what they desire and that’s ok. If you love someone enough to stay with them after knowing the fact that they're unable to provide you with what you need and you’re ok with that, and they’re also ok with that, then stay. The choice is your. But, don’t expect them to change.

You can’t change someone unless they want to change themselves. You can’t fight for someone who’s not willing to fight for themselves and for what they want. You shouldn’t continue to fight for someone who isn’t willing to fight for you.

Relationships are about balancing one another through healing, learning, and growth not adding trauma to one another. If your way of balancing is through harmful and traumatic means then leave. You’re only going to do more harm to yourself and suck the energy out of your partner and your entire relationship.

You hold the power to be the change you want to see. You have the power to create such changes but while you’re at it be reasonable.”