Environmental Influence
How did your childhood environment influence you as a person?
What did you learn from it?
What did you need to unlearn about it?
Growing up I had the opportunity to witness the messy side of being under the influence. I saw how messy things can get once the body can't take it anymore. I was grossed out. I had seen loved ones get drunk then argue and ended up almost getting into a fight. I watched couples fight over frequent intoxication. I saw how damaging people's lives are after they turn to drugs and alcohol. I saw how addicting the situation can be.
Growing up I saw how alcohol and drugs ruin families, marriages, relationships, and peoples' lives. I had witnessed the pattern of brokenness that passed through generations and I, for a long time, thought this was it.
Growing up I tried my best to stay away from alcohol and drugs because of what I saw. I hated the sight and smell of it because where the smell is, that's where the drama will be.
In the past, if I didn't distance myself from such an environment, I'd ensure I enjoy it while someone I trusted wholeheartedly, someone with good vibes, someone who knows their limits and is positive and intentional. Even then, still, all my guards were up.
For a long time I was tense around such an environment but that all changed shortly after I met some wonderful people. When I went to study abroad I was surrounded by happy people, who can be both soberly and drunkenly happy. These people showed me what it's like to have a good time and to have a healthy relationship with alcohol. It starts with knowing one's intentions and boundaries.
They introduced me to a whole new world.
There, I also happened to have met someone who inspired me to breakthrough so I, too, can be free.
I overcame my fears and came to understand and accept that there can be a healthy relationship with alcohol and drugs. It's not always all bad.
Presently, as I have healed from this trauma, I am ok with being around such an environment. I've noticed I've been very loose and more accepting of such situations. However, I still can't stand the strong smell so I will always keep my distance. Plus, I still like to enjoy life sober. Additionally due to health problems I will always be cautious.
Words of gratitude:
Thank you to each of the beautiful souls I've met over the years that showed me the beautiful side of life. I am grateful for each of you. Without you I wouldn't have overcome a lot of my childhood fears and trauma. You guys are my inspiration. I stand where I stood today because of you.
