Effects of Trauma on Relationships
Traumatic incidents can bring people closer together or push them further apart. There is no universal way that all trauma survivors are impacted by trauma. Different types of trauma may affect people differently.
Survivors of trauma are prone to try to hide their emotions and experiences from people around them due to inability to communicate their needs and desires because they don’t know what they are. They may have learned that their needs and desires don’t matter, leading them to not value themselves and internalized negative messages from their abuser. It is possible that the trauma survivor has internalized these messages and values as fact and due to fear of losing the people around them, if they are too difficult or have needs, they become people pleasers.
In such situations if miscommunication prolongs, and the people around them may not know that something is wrong, this can cause further distress to the trauma survivor. This is why it is necessary for the trauma survivor to acknowledge trauma and its effects and explore them with their partner or the people that care about them through trauma therapy and working together, for it shows them that they are surrounded by safe people who love and value them.
Some signs & symptoms people with unresolved trauma may engage in/struggle with:
Risky behavior
Depression or feelings of despair
Anxiety
Difficulty accepting support/trusting others
Difficulty trusting themselves
Self-medication with alcohol or drugs
Difficulty connecting with others
Hypervigilance- being on high alert
Feeling overwhelmed by their trauma symptoms
Being emotionally unavailable
People pleasing
Psychosomatic symptoms
Isolating
Anger
Intrusive thoughts
Suicidal thoughts
Hopelessness
Poor self worth
Recreating painful relationships
Feeling numb or disconnected
Difficulty managing emotions
Repetitive toxic romantic relationship cycles
